The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

1

A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"

Previous Dates

0

What do you call when you have your grandmother on speed dial?

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I would like to thank my hands.

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Where do beekeepers stay on vacation?

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Unfortunately, my obese parrot just died.

0

There was a robbery at the Apple store.

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What do you call a fake noodle?

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A guy tried to sell me a mirror but I knew it was a scam.

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Why did the coach go to the bank?

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

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Why was the calendar depressed?

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My GF left me once I stopped taking her to seafood restaurants

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What did the bra say to the hat?

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How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

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Why did the mexican gang fail?

0

The strangest part about picking out a name for your child is

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Why do bees hum?

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My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook...

0

Why does Sherlock Holmes love Mexican restaurants?

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My buddy said 'There's only one thing about Halloween that scares me.' I asked, 'Which is?'

0

Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes?

-1

My teacher told me I would never be any good at Poetry because of my dyslexia....

3

What animal makes buildings?

1

A blind man walks into a bar

0

Why do plants hate math?

0

What follows two eyes?

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When I was a single man, I had a lot of free time.

0

What did the bear say when he called customer service?

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I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought...

1

My wife asked me if I thought our kids were spoiled

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What rhymes with orange?

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England doesn't have a kidney bank.