The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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I forgot where I threw my boomerang.

Previous Dates

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Where do you take somebody that has been injured in a Peek-a-Boo accident?

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What do you call fake potatoes?

2

If there’s a line of gay people, it’s not a straight line...

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My grandfather was an honorable, brave man. He had the heart of a lion,

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My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.

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What did fridge say when asked 'any hot drinks?'?

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My friend David just lost his ID.

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How do priests stay fit?

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Knock-knock! Who's there? Desdemona. Desdemona who?

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Wife: What are you doing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.

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Can I watch the TV?

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Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?

1

I was reading the history of the French Revolution, and just found out what happened to Louis XVI ‘s head.

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What happens when you don’t pay the priest for your exorcism?

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Broken guitar for sale.

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What jokes are allowed during lockdown?

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How does a cup hang a picture?

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I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."

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I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today

-1

My son told me, “Dad, I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes, and now it burns.”

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What do you call a guy who brings your daughter home late?

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A man entered his home and discovered that someone had stolen every single lamp present in the house.

4

My girlfriend says if we don’t get married soon, she’s gonna kill me.

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Don’t stare at a glass of water.

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I gave a PS5 to my girlfriend..

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Daughter: Where are the Himalayas?

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I ate a clock last week.

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I really hate the direction my country is moving...

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Why are skeletons so calm?

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Knock-knock! Who's there? Kumquat. Kumquat who?

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Give a man a plane ticket, he'll fly for a day.