The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

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I once made a belt out of watches

Did you know most people are assholes?

My last annual performance review said I lacked passion and intensity.

I never let my kid watch an orchestra on TV.

Spring is here!

I would do a steak joke..

I asked my wife if I’m the only one she had ever slept with.

My wife just accused me of having zero empathy.

Without nipples!

I call my toilet "the jim" instead of "the john."