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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
2
We would tell you another swimming joke,
but it's too watered down to be funny.
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Previous Dates
0
How did Jesus get so strong?
Cross fit
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0
My daughter thinks I’m overprotective and nosy
At least that’s what she wrote in her diary.
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0
People say crochet is like knitting,
but it's knot.
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0
What's a cannibal?
Someone who is fed up with people.
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0
Why does the man want to buy nine rackets?
Cause tennis too many.
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17
Why did the bullet end up losing his job?
He got fired.
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0
Two satellites decided to get married. The wedding wasn't great...
However, the reception was amazing
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0
The circle is just the most ridiculous shape in the world.
There's absolutely no point to it.
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0
What are the four worst words you can hear on a golf course?
"It's still your turn."
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0
My wife won't come to Mexico with me.
She thinks I will try tequila.
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0
Why does the Little Mermaid wear seashells?
Because B-shells are too small, and D-shells are too big.
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0
Dad Jokes are the best. Now I will say why.
Why.
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0
Why do dads tell dad jokes?
Because they want to see their kids all groan up.
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0
I can’t believe that even after 15 years of the show ending, people are still making “Friends” references.
No one told me life was gonna be this way.
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0
Pride is what you feel when your kids net $100 from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.
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0
What did the hat say to the hat rack?
You stay here. I’ll go on a head.
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0
What did the pencil say to the paper?
I dot my eyes on you.
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0
I dropped an egg onto a concrete floor and it didn't break.
This is because concrete floors are really hard.
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0
Not to brag, but I have sychic powers.
For example, right now you’re thinking, “It’s psychic, idiot.”
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1
My wife and I share the same sense of humour.
We have to....She doesn't have one.
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0
What do Spanish clocks say?
Tick-taco
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0
I was kidnapped by mimes once
They did unspeakable things to me.
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0
Do windmills like punk rock?
No, but they’re big metal fans.
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0
Why don’t vampires go to barbecues?
They don’t like steak.
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0
Why did the farmer win an award?
Because he was out standing in his field.
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0
My kid’s pet rabbit named Gotye ran away a few days ago, and we can’t find it.
Now he’s just some bunny we used to know.
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0
What do you call a funny hill?
Hillarious
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0
Mom: I thought you said you were running away with the circus.
Daughter: I did, but the police made me bring it back.
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12
What do you call a funny jar of mayonnaise?
LMAYO
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0
My girlfriend got mad at me for being lazy
It's not like I did something
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0
What did the sushi say to the bee?
'Wasabi?'
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Joke of the Day
We would tell you another swimming joke,
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