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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
Todays Joke
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What do you call it when you go back for another helping of ice cream?
Secondairy.
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Previous Dates
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Not to brag, but I beat the state chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
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0
Why was the Genie angry?
Because someone rubbed him the wrong way.
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-1
I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey.
But then I turned myself down.
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0
How can you tell an ant’s gender?
Put it in water. If it sinks it’s a girl ant, If it floats it’s buoyant
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1
My daughter was playing with my computer and she broke the R button and tried to eat it.
She craves anarchy.
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0
If number 666 is evil
25.8069758011 is the root of all evil.
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0
Why was the Argentine man shaky?
Due to his-panic attacks
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0
What do you call ghost poop?
Boo Boo
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1
I accidentally swallowed some scrabble tiles.
My next trip to the bathroom could spell disaster.
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0
What does a 6'5" butcher weigh?
Meat
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1
How do you feed 1000 people with one loaf of bread?
You cut the ends and now you have endless bread.
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0
Do you think..
Earth makes fun of other planets for having no life?!
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2
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic on the Titanic?
About half way...
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0
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
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3
When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway!
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0
Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
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0
it all
the title says it all...
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0
Gucci should open up a children’s store
And call it “Gucci Gucci Goo”
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0
What jokes are allowed during lockdown?
Inside jokes
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4
Why don’t blind people skydive?
It scares the hell out of their guide dogs.
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1
Why should you never trust a train?
They have loco motives.
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0
How do knights communicate?
They use chain mail.
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0
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A Roman Catholic!
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0
Give ‘em the punchline first!
How do you tell a good joke about time travel?
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0
I for one
love Roman numerals
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0
I took a poll the other day.
Turns out 100% of people get angry when their tents fall down.
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If I dont perfect human cloning..
I won't be able to live with myself.
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0
Have you ever seen a picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved?
It’s beauty was unpresidented.
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0
Where do single cats advertise for a date?
The purr-sonal ads.
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Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely.
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I’ve just won a few hands in poker.
Some people really will gamble anything.
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Joke of the Day
What do you call it when you go back for another helping of ice cream?
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