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What do you call a grandfather clock?
An old timer!
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My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner.
So i took the batteries out of the smoke alarm
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Did you know the film “Speed” had no director?
If it had direction, it would be called “Velocity”.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because it wasn't peeling very well
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You know what actually makes me smile?
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