Tech: Okay ma'am, do you see the button on the right-hand side of your mouse?
Caller: No, there's a printer and a phone on the right-hand side of my mouse.
How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to do it and two to tell him, "You're looking huge man, you're looking huge!"
The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, everyone will say,
"Well, she looks good, doesn't she!"
What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney?
"You're too little to smoke!"