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My boss told me as a security guard its my job to watch the office.
I am on season 6 so far, but not sure what it has got to do with security.
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I hate people who don't use punctiation.
They deserve a long sentence.
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How do you break up a fight between two blind men?
Yell “My money’s on the one with the knife!”
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Father: I know what's causing your bad grades. You're spending too much time watching television.
Kid: I'm sorry, you'll have to phrase that in the form of a question.
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Golf pro: Now I want you to go through the motions without actually hitting the ball.
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