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I dated a girl with a lazy eye once
Turns out she was seeing someone on the side
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"HeHe," said the first chemist. "What's so funny?" asked the other.
"Nothing. I just combined two isotopes of helium."
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Who shaves 10 times a day but still has a beard?
A barber!
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Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?
Because they have a supreme ruler.
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Why did the orange juice factory worker lose his job?
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