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How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it
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I got into bar fight and shoved a guy into a light switch on the wall.
He looked at me and said, “OH, ITS ON NOW!”
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When I turned 16, my dad told me it was time to get a job. “When I was your age, my very first job I had I worked with over 500 people under me.”... “Wow!” I said. “Was it some big corporation?”
“No.” He replied, “I mowed the lawn in the cemetery.”
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What's the one thing a homeless man can't be?
A homebody.
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I like my women the way I like my coffee.
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