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A captain harpooned a whale's tail on his first throw.
He said, "Well, that was a fluke."
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What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator.
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Can February March?
No, but April May.
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I used to get heartburn whenever I ate birthday cake...
... until the doctor told me to take the candles off first!
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My wife asked me if I'm ever gonna stop singing "Wonderwall"
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