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Patient: Doc, I don't believe that peanuts are fattening.
Doctor: Well, have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
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I swallowed my flute, and I can't get it out!
Thank goodness you weren't playing the piano.
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My girlfriend poked me in the eyes...
...so I stopped seeing her for a little while.
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A person asked me, "Aren't you the guy who brags about weird stuff?"
I replied, "No, Im the guy who takes the longest baths in the city".
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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