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Patient: Doc, I don't believe that peanuts are fattening.
Doctor: Well, have you ever seen a skinny elephant?
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My son is now at that age where he's curious about the human body.
I guess I'll have to hide it somewhere else now.
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How do you know if a potato had a great day?
When it's peeling good.
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What do you say to a woman who has given birth to members of the military?
Thank you for your cervix.
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My wife asked me if I'm ever gonna stop singing "Wonderwall"
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