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I once dated a girl in ISIS
She was the bomb
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I got into bar fight and shoved a guy into a light switch on the wall.
He looked at me and said, “OH, ITS ON NOW!”
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What does toilet paper like alpine skiing?
Because it's the fastest way to get to the bottom.
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Why should you be worried if you see cows smoking marijuana?
Cause that's when the steaks are highest.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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