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I once dated a girl in ISIS
She was the bomb
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A person asked me, "Aren't you the guy who brags about weird stuff?"
I replied, "No, Im the guy who takes the longest baths in the city".
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Where do dead bricks go?
To the cementry
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My son was crying today because he spilled his scrambled eggs all over his art supplies.
He was having an eggs and stencils crisis.
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What’s it called when you kill chickpeas?
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