The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

1

How did the whale defend itself?

Previous Dates

0

What do you call a woman who sounds like an ambulance?

0

What do you call someone who gets mad when they don't have any bread?

0

I just spent $300 for a limousine and found out it doesnt come with a driver.

0

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

0

I'm going to have my spine removed

0

I hate to say this.

0

Just read an article about the top ten exposed electrical circuits.

1

Somebody said that my father is older than dirt.

0

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

0

What's the cheapest meat?

0

What do you tell Simba when he's moving too slow?

0

A magician was driving down the street.

0

I said it once and I'll say it again

0

"Hey dad, I'm taking a shower"

1

If you bury someone in the wrong place,

1

Sadly, I've lost 20% of my sight

0

My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.

0

Why are skeletons so calm?

0

What do you call a math problem that you can touch and feel?

0

What did the hippie tell his friend who said he couldn't stay on his couch anymore?

0

What is black and white and red all over?

1

I've been accused of plagiarism

0

What did 0 say to 8?

0

I had a friend who always said...

0

Time flies like an arrow.

0

Did you hear about the new dating site for retired chemists?

0

Last night, I had a dream that I was a muffler.

0

Dad to his daughter: "Never forget, sweetie, you're unique,

0

When I was young, my dad used to tear up the last page of all my comic books and never told me why.

0

I took a poll the other day.

0

What's the best thing about dating a homeless woman?