The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

0

My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support Trump.

Previous Dates

1

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type

0

I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery

0

At first I thought it was great marrying an archeologist...

3

I just took an AND test

0

Apparently you can't use "beefsoup" as a password.

0

My brother and I laugh at how competitive we were as kids.

0

What is a mummy's favorite music genre?

0

My wife made me a millionaire

0

I said to my wife, "They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience..."

0

Do you know why I can’t be buried in a cemetery?

0

What do you call a dog without legs?

1

A joke about herd immunity isn't funny unless..

-1

My blind friend was left by his deaf wife.

0

What do you call a sketchy Italian neighbourhood?

0

Why didn’t the melons get married?

1

How does the Earth keep itself clean?

6

I stole my ex girlfriend’s wheelchair

0

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

0

A man standing on a riverbank yells to a woman on the other side, "Hey, how do I get to the other side of the river?"

0

How did the farmer mend the holes in his jeans?

0

What is it called when one butt cheek is bigger than the other?

0

How do ponies communicate with each other?

0

What’s blue and not heavy

1

Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies

0

My boss hates when I shorten his name to Dick.

1

Did you hear about the Giant that threw up?

0

Why can't a father teach his girl about buying bras?

0

When I was born I was so surprised,

1

What superhero gets hurt the easiest?

1

You know there's no official training for garbagemen?

0

What is it called when one butt cheek is bigger than the other?