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To all the coworkers who have talked about me behind my back:
You discussed me.
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As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said,
“You know, one would have been enough.”
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My therapist just told me that my exhibitionism addiction is incurable.
I’ll show her.
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What do you call it when a pirate climaxes?
An arrgasm
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I think my favorite part of going to the gym
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