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I had to fire the guy I hired to mow my lawn.
He just didn’t cut it.
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My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
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Laughing is the best medicine
unless you're laughing for no reason, then you may need some medicine.
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My new job at the nuclear reactor requires me to take anger management classes.
They're to prevent meltdowns.
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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