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What do you call a police officer who refuses to get out of bed?
An undercover cop.
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Wife: What are you doing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.
Husband: I was looking for the expiration date.
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I once gave my husband the silent treatment for an entire week, at the end of which he declared,
"Hey, we've been getting along great lately!'
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What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear
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Whenever I see a school bus, I think about my uncles last words...
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