The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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How did the T-rex feel after his workout?

Previous Dates

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I was talking to a rancher today. I said, “I have 54 sheep. Can you round them up for me?”

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How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

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How do ponies communicate with each other?

0

What happens to Composers when they die?

1

Dark humor is like clean water

1

Bro, do you want this pamphlet?

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I have a question for you

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What do you call the question of midgets?

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up?

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My kids were very upset when our bunnies escaped.

1

I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.

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What's another name for an eyedropper?

1

I shot my enemy with a paintball gun

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As a new language, Braille is not that difficult to learn.

0

What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?

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I couldn't pay the exorcist.

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Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

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I connot belive that bacteria would just come in my body without my permision

-1

What training do you need to become a garbage collector

2

I was in a band in the 80s called Prevention.

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The recipe said, “Set the oven to 180 degrees.”

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What sound does a bouncing plane make?

2

Just found out my uncle is addicted to viagra

1

What do you call a calculator that works instantly?

-1

To the guy who stole my antidepressants...

0

What happened to the man who took the airline company to court after his luggage went missing?

0

Why can't you play basketball with pigs?

0

I knew I shouldn't have had the sea food.

0

Where did Sally go during the bombing?

5

Do you wanna know why skeletons are so calm?

0

I've been waiting all year to write this