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In my twenties, I used to live on a houseboat, and started seeing the girl next door.
Eventually we drifted apart.
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What does a presidential candidate who cant get his votes up suffer from?
Electile dysfunction
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How do you feed 1000 people with one loaf of bread?
You cut the ends and now you have endless bread.
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I was at a restaurant with my wife when a waitress suddenly screamed, "Does anyone know CPR??"
I shouted, "Even better, I know the whole alphabet!" Everyone laughed... Well, everyone except this one guy.
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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