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My wife accused me of hating her family and relatives...
I replied, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law a lot better than I like mine."
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What do you call a fear of giants?
Feefiphobia
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My wife yelled at me, telling me to put the toilet seat down..
Don't know why I was carrying it around in the first place.
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How is a baby bird like its dad?
It's a chirp off the old block.
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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