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My girlfriend just asked me what state was below Tennessee...
Nine-esse
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At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What exactly happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
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Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.
He wishes he was never Bourne.
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What do you call a small mother?
A minimum.
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Why don’t blind people skydive?
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