When do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?
When it's full.
My boss fired me for cracking too many Asian jokes.
It ended my Korea.
My wife told me, “ Don’t get upset if someone calls you fat.”
“You’re much bigger than that.”
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
My balding magician friend has come up with a new trick.
He vanished into thin hair.
Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. I paid my $2 and he said...
Once upon a time there was this lobster...
It wasn’t much fun when I broke my neck last year.
But now I can look back and laugh.
Did you know the US Mint is the richest Department in the US?
They make a lot of money.
Why did the coach let the elephant play basketball?
He had already broken the bench.