The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

Rocks don't get the respect they deserve.

Previous Dates

I felt pretty sick after drinking milk with cream.

Two atoms are walking down the street and bump into each other

I took my wife to a fancy restaurant where they make the food in front of you, but she wasn't very happy.

What I if told you

Frequent nap taking slows the aging process.

What did the vegetarian say to the doctor?

People who rob jewelry stores and banks are pretty bad.

Toy story 4 used to have a scene where Woody's friends died.

My wife asked me why I was speaking so softly at home...

I really want to buy one of the grocery checkout dividers

Don't trust atoms.

Why don’t ants get sick?