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My friend said, “You have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”
It was a third degree burn.
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I angered two people today by calling them hipsters...
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I’m so bored that I just memorized six pages of the dictionary.
I learned next to nothing.
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Officer "I'm arresting you for downloading all of Wikipedia."
Me ,"No, wait. I can explain everything!"
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What's a drunk astronauts favourite part of a computer?
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