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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I angered two people today by calling them hipsters...
Apparently, the correct term is conjoined twins...
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They all laughed when I told them that one day I would discover the secret of invisibility.
If only they could see me now.
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Don't you hate it when a teacher lies and says the homework will be a piece of cake?
It always tastes like paper.
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I was fired from a bank.
When a woman asked me to check her balance, I pushed her over.
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My wife asked me if I'm ever gonna stop singing "Wonderwall"
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