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I find that the only math I’m good at is..
adding insult to injury.
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Knock-knock! Who's there? Kumquat. Kumquat who?
Kumquat may, I'll always love you.
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What's the difference between cancer and my dad?
The cancer keeps coming back.
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What do you call a polite man who builds bridges?
A civil engineer
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Can I watch the TV?
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