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I wrote down the names of everyone I hate a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll a joint.
He's now high on the list of people I don't want to see again.
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My wife is threatening to leave me because I’m addicted to wearing a new T-shirt every half an hour.
I said, “Wait! I can change!”
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I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.
I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
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How much does it cost to go to Hogwarts?
A Quid each
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Can I watch the TV?
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