The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

1

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Previous Dates

1

What do you call bears with no ears?

0

Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population?

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I can cut down a tree by just looking at it

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Mom bought me some camouflage cargo pants.

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You can't run through a camp site.

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Why shouldn't you stay close to a speaker all the time?

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What did the DJ name his newborn son?

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I’m so good at sleeping…

0

Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me.

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Converting the number 51, 6 and 500 to Roman numerals doesn’t just make me mad....

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I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said,

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Have you heard about the pope's kitten addiction?

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor?

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Does anyone know how to catch a polar bear?

0

The Only Thing Flat-Earthers Fear...

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Did you hear about the human cannonball?

1

I'm going to start a bar and call it "the Morgue"

1

How did the whale defend itself?

0

I was arrested for stealing cooking utensils

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What is a row of iron cats?

0

When do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?

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What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

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What do you call an old, Spanish man?

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My wife says I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid

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Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team?

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Dad, did you get a haircut?

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If spaghetti made an action movie, what would it be called?

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Why was Nala so upset with Simba?

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What did the fat girl say to the pig?

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What happens when a Male rectangle sees a female rectangle?

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I watched a movie about graphs last night, but I was slightly disappointed.