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Do you know why the say "be there or be square?"
Because you're not around.
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In my twenties, I used to live on a houseboat, and started seeing the girl next door.
Eventually we drifted apart.
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I used to date a girl who was lactose intolerant.
We broke up because she couldn’t stomach my cheesy jokes.
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Why didn’t the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe
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What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
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