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If a child refuses to go to sleep, is he resisting arrest?
No, he's avoiding a kidnapping.
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A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"
The lawyer shrieks, "Exactly! So where’s my present?!"
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You know there's no official training for garbage men?
They just pick things up as they go along.
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What do you call 52 pieces of bread?
A deck of carbs!
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My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support Trump.
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