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If a child refuses to go to sleep, is he resisting arrest?
No, he's avoiding a kidnapping.
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Dark humor is like clean water
not everyone gets it
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Why do people like fizzy drinks?
They're sodalicious.
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I wrote down the names of everyone I hate a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll a joint.
He's now high on the list of people I don't want to see again.
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Golf pro: Now I want you to go through the motions without actually hitting the ball.
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