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When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining.
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My wife just accused me of having zero empathy.
I just don’t understand why she feels that way.
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A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
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Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon?
Because he was a paleontologist.
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Golf pro: Now I want you to go through the motions without actually hitting the ball.
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