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I was fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.
I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
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My wife to our son, "Go brush your teeth with your sister"
Me from the other room, "No, use a toothbrush".
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When my wife was still pregnant I used to say
that our baby was in his one womb apartment.
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What did the yogi tell his restless students?
Don't just do something...sit there!
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A captain harpooned a whale's tail on his first throw.
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