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I burned 2,000 calories yesterday.
Left the brownies in the oven too long.
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Why has no skeleton ever jumped from a really tall building?
They ain’t got the balls.
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I finally decided to dispose of my broken tripod
I just couldn't stand it anymore.
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What do you call an average potato who tells you the play-by-play action in sports?
Commentator.
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What’s it called when you kill chickpeas?
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