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What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?
Bored.
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Why is an executioner a terrible high-fiver?
He always leaves you hanging
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My twin brother called me from prison.
He said, “You know that thing where we finish each other’s sentences?”.
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My wife swiped our debit card on my butt crack.
She said "transaction denied, insufficient buns."
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What's a drunk astronauts favourite part of a computer?
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