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My first day working as a pilot: *looking down nervously* what are all these buttons for?
copilot: they keep your shirt closed
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Why do the riot police always arrive early to protests?
Because they like to beat the crowd.
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After a fish was arrested for swimming without a license, he eventually posted bail.
Relieved, he said, "I'm off the hook!"
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Why did the coach let the elephant play basketball?
He had already broken the bench.
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What do you call it when you go back for another helping of ice cream?
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