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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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My girlfriend poked me in the eyes...
...so I stopped seeing her for a little while.
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Patient: When my hand heals, will I be able to play piano? Doctor: Yes, you'll be fine in a few days.
Patient: Great! I've always wanted to play an instrument.
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Why is the nose in the middle of the face?
Because it's the scenter.
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The day I turned 42, my daughter walked up to me and said "happy...", and started timing on her watch. After a long silence she said...
"...40 second birthday". I was so proud.
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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