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Why are the Avengers so good with tools?
They’re always assembling
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Why shouldn't sandwiches have kids?
Because they are in bread.
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My wife and I bought a water bed recently but ever since then...
...we’ve drifted apart.
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Me: Cortana, I definitely don't use any other virtual assistant.
Cortana: Are you Siri-ous?
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Why did the orange juice factory worker lose his job?
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