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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
2
I heard this guy whispering a lot of Pokemon jokes to his friend...
...but I couldn't catch them all.
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When I turned 16, my dad told me it was time to get a job. “When I was your age, my very first job I had I worked with over 500 people under me.”... “Wow!” I said. “Was it some big corporation?”
“No.” He replied, “I mowed the lawn in the cemetery.”
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My wife sent me a heartwarming text that read, “If you're sleeping, send me your dreams. If you're laughing, send me your smile. If you're eating, send me a bite. If you're drinking, send me a sip. If you're crying, send me your tears. I love you!”
I replied, “I'm on the toilet, please advise…”
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1
My new job at the nuclear reactor requires me to take anger management classes.
They're to prevent meltdowns.
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I had a Wookie burger at a Star Wars cafe
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