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I taught my daughter what the word bargain meant...
She said, “Thanks dad, that means a great deal.”
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Two drunk guys were fighting. One of them drew a line in the dirt, and said if the other crossed it they would punch them in the face.
That was the punchline.
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“Dad, can you call mom’s phone? She can’t find it.”
“Absolutely! ‘Mom’s phone! Mom’s phone!’”
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Driver: Officer, are you actually crying while writing my ticket?
Cop: It was a moving violation.
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Why does the man want to buy nine rackets?
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