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Last night my wife and I watched three movies back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the tv.
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What do you call a potato at a hockey game?
A spec-tater.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
It was sole destroying.
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Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.
He wishes he was never Bourne.
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Husband: Whisper dirty things to me.
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