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Last night my wife and I watched three movies back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the tv.
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Two conspiracy theorists walk into a bar
You can't tell me that's a coincidence
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My daughter was playing with my computer and she broke the R button and tried to eat it.
She craves anarchy.
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Reporter: How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?
Company owner: It's simple. I have 100 employees, and 99 free parking spaces outside. The other one costs $50 a day.
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I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra."
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