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Last night my wife and I watched three movies back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the tv.
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I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down!
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“Dear Diary, I think I have trouble distinguishing between inanimate objects and human beings.”
My therapist: Yes, I see that. Stop calling me Diary.
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How do you feed 1000 people with one loaf of bread?
You cut the ends and now you have endless bread.
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Joke of the Day
A man in an interrogation room says, “I’m not saying a word without my lawyer present!" The cop growls, "You ARE the lawyer!"
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