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The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines.
I just can't think of one atm.
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When I turned 16, my dad told me it was time to get a job. “When I was your age, my very first job I had I worked with over 500 people under me.”... “Wow!” I said. “Was it some big corporation?”
“No.” He replied, “I mowed the lawn in the cemetery.”
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Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies,
"No, just leave it in the carton! "
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You know there's no official training for garbage men?
They just pick things up as they go along.
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What’s it called when you kill chickpeas?
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