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What does a panda use to make pancakes?
A pan...duh
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Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.
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What follows two eyes?
Captain.
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Knock-knock! Who's there? Madison. Madison who?
Time to take your Madison.
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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