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I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist.
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.
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Do you think..
Earth makes fun of other planets for having no life?!
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I didn't think orthopedic shoes would help
But I stand corrected.
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Me: Honey, I'm terrified of vowels. Wife: Ummm, why?
Me: Only sometimes.
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My wife asked me if I'm ever gonna stop singing "Wonderwall"
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