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I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years because I found out she was a communist.
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.
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What weighs less than blue ?
Light blue
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Dad: What do you want for dinner? Kid: I feel like a pizza.
Dad: Well, you don't look like one!
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Wife: What are you doing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.
Husband: I was looking for the expiration date.
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What's a drunk astronauts favourite part of a computer?
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