For the 10th year in a row, my coworkers voted me “the most secretive guy” in the office.
I can’t tell you how much this award means to me.
What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
One's a pop fly. The other's a fly pop.
I was on a date with a woman who said "I am a big country fan."
Me trying to sound intelligent: " Well, China is 3.7 million square miles. "