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I've decided to become a math teacher, but I'm only going to teach subtraction.
I just want to make a difference.
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My wife came back from the store complaining about how the lady at the register was a total bitch.
I asked her if she was at self check out. Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch.
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Someone broke into my house last night and stole my limbo trophy.
How low can you go?
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Why couldn't the computer take his hat off?
Because his caps lock was on.
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What did the sushi say to the bee?
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