The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

1

What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?

Previous Dates

0

Why do plants hate math?

0

What follows two eyes?

0

When I was a single man, I had a lot of free time.

0

What did the bear say when he called customer service?

0

I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought...

1

My wife asked me if I thought our kids were spoiled

0

What rhymes with orange?

0

England doesn't have a kidney bank.

0

I just found out I’m colour blind.

0

Being a great father is like shaving.

0

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday

0

I think the girl at the grocery store register likes me.

0

How often do people who study scientific elements tell dad jokes?

2

What happened to the barber after he got caught on fire?

0

I like to tell dad jokes, but I don’t have kids.

-1

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.

1

Why are burglars so sensitive?

0

Here’s a little bit of advice.

1

What does James Bond do before he goes to sleep?

0

I find bone puns very

0

My friend bit off his tongue.

0

If you're feeling under the weather, spend a night in a smokehouse.

0

I call my horse Mayo,

0

What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder?

1

Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?

0

Jack: How’s it going? Beans: Pretty good

0

What language do geese speak?

0

What would The Jetsons be called if they were black?

0

I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today

0

Did you hear about the 2 guys that stole a calendar?

1

My 15 year old sent a text asking me to pick him up from school and added "not in your pyjamas".