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Why did the pencil get flushed down the toilet?
It was a #2!
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The workweek is so rough that after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says
WTF
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Give ‘em the punchline first!
How do you tell a good joke about time travel?
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If you become seriously depressed, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed.
That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
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I gave all my dead batteries away today…
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