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What do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is?
A widow.
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Soccer striker: I had an open goal but still I didn't score. I could kick myself.
Manager: I wouldn't bother. You'd probably miss.
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My can opener broke ...
Now it’s a can’t opener.
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I went to the air and space museum yesterday
There was nothing there
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I had a Wookie burger at a Star Wars cafe
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