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I asked my wife to pick up a pumpkin to make pumpkin pie. When she said she couldn't find one at the store, I told her,
"I guess our plans are squashed."
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What's the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist?
The literalist takes things literally. The kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
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Why couldn't Hitler eat oranges?
Because he hated the juice.
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I had a silver dollar, but then my dog got a hold of it.
Now I have a bitcoin.
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I had a Wookie burger at a Star Wars cafe
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