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Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.
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My wife just said that in order for our marriage to work, we both need to make sacrifices.
I’m thinking of choosing a goat.
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Our maintenance guy lost his legs on the job,
now he’s just a handyman.
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What do you call someone who sells themselves in exchange for spaghetti?
A pasta-tute
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How did the T-rex feel after his workout?
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