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My son tied his first tie today.
I looked at him and told him "Knot bad son."
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I was asked at an interview what my weakness is. I replied "I'm too honest". The interviewer said "I don't consider honesty a weakness".
I said "I don't give a fuck what you think"
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You know there's no official training for garbagemen?
They just pick things up as they go along.
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What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Bubble 07
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What do you call a nose with no body?
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