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Did you hear about the new dating site for retired chemists?
It's called "Carbon Dating."
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What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
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Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.
He wishes he was never Bourne.
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Why are burglars so sensitive?
Because they take things personally.
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What bug did dinosaurs hate the most?
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