The best dad jokes and puns on the internet.

Todays Joke

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How did the T-rex feel after his workout?

Previous Dates

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I don't trust those trees in our yard.

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I can stop telling dad jokes anytime I want to!

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I help my kids with calculus and algebra.

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It doesn't matter if you're beautiful or ugly because at the end of the day..

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Spring is here!

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Where do fishes work?

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What did the lawyer name his daughter?

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After a heated argument, my kid shouted “Jim Morrison was overrated”

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Which cult is the toughest?

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What do you call a person missing 75%, of their spine?

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Why is a minnow always the first suspect for a crime?

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I dropped an egg onto a concrete floor and it didn't break.

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A bossy man goes into a bar.

1

2 fish are in a tank

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I stubbed my toe against a gold bar

1

Where are dead computer hackers buried?

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What did the ex of Ed Sheeran do?

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up?

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I once swallowed a book of synonyms.

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I took a poll the other day.

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I heard this girl talking about how much she hates stalkers.

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What is the worst combination of two sicknesses?

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I took my new gun to the range to try it out, but somehow it won’t work.

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Today is a day to celebrate motherfuckers.

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Patient: Doctor,, my hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?

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When debating letters, you always want "i" and "j" on your team.

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What does Superman have in his drink?

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Kid: Dad, can you teach me how to play chess?

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What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down?

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"Dad can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"

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I had a dream I was floating in some sort of orange liquid.