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My girlfriend hates when I make jokes about her weight.
She needs to lighten up.
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I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery
Hashtag nofilter
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What did the hippie tell his friend who said he couldn't stay on his couch anymore?
"Namaste."
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Mayan: Hey wanna drink?
Other Mayan: I'm working on this calendar, but I guess if I don't finish it won't be the end of the world.
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Would anyone be interested in being my companion?
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